Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize