Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
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The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
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May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize