I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize