you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
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If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
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Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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