drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
time to smoke my breakfast
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
