IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
