I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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