16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
