just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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