my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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