does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
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