OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
