She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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