She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
