We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
