It's like God shit irony all over that family
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
