I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
