hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize