Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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