I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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