I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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