Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
