this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
