Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize