Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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