Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
