i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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