Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
