So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
