4 words: hood of his car
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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