ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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