I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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