So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I think my moral compass just broke
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