I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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