It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Hippo gnu deer
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
