He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
