some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
