apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
