New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize