sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Randomize
