I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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