New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
