The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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