Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
