I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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