my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
