Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
