it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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