I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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