oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
