He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
