Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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