Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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