i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
