I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize