Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
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i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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