Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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