girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
