the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize