whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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