I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
