u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
