Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
