I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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