her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
