Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
